Many of you have recently read my blog entitled “All Over the Place”. I should have been careful what I wished for. The other day, I got an email from a friend I know “in real life” asking me to connect to her on facebook. So I set up a profile there real quick this morning. Now, as today has progressed, my little facebook inbox is full of people I “know in real life” trying to connect to me.
And that scares the heck out of me.
Because in “real life” I am shy as can be and quiet as can be and un-noticeable as can be. And hardly ever does anybody know what I am thinking. Except maybe in a classroom type setting. I will raise my hand and point out a relevant fact, and then discussion will ensue, but I do not dominate that discussion. I just connect the dots, and the group moves along, and they don’t really even notice that I sort of directed them. And that is comfortable for me.
Blogging and making friends on line has gotten to be really comfortable for me, too. In a way, most of my Multiply friends “know” me better than most of my “real-life” friends do.
But what will I do if my real life friends read my blogs and expect me to be as articulate in person as I can be in writing? I’ll be a FAILURE, that’s what!
Groups of people who all know each other and all know me … well that is UN comfortable for me. Because, well, groups always want you to SAY something. And you have to be quick, and witty and I’m … well … SLOW. I think too dang deeply. I need to process and connect all the dots. I need to listen.
Well, I’ve got a facebook page now, and I suppose I gotta update the little blurb every day “Rani Kaye is … (you’re supposed to fill in the blank).” My 50+ year-old “real-life” friends are filling in those dang blanks!!!! Who knew?
Maybe in 2009 I’ll become as comfortable with verbal communication as I am with blogging and commenting. When I was on Yahoo 360, I never ever ever commented … I just read blogs. It wasn’t until the Yahoo mass-exodus began that I quit lurking and contacted the people whose blogs I read so that I could come over here and not lose the writers I loved to read. Then one of those friends taught me to comment. (Okay, so I AM an idiot. I had to be taught to comment.) Now I do it all the time. Maybe someday I will even learn how to do it in real life.
… I’m not leaving Multiply, though, that’s for sure. I’ll just practice a little with facebook, and then maybe invite my facebook friends over here to see what a “real” blog site is like. Grin.